Jul 15, 2009

Promise me you'll look at me the same

I think it's one out of a handful of situations where a normal person would have the ability, as well as excuse, to crap their pants. And I mean that quite literally.

I lie in this bed (while Deng stirs and elbows me in my sides), documenting my first diarrhetic experience since yonks (or never). It would seem that I currently hold no regard for my humility or reputation (I know I'll regret this one day). And if a future prospective employer sees this, know that, IT WAS THE SHRIMP!
I kid, I kid. I'm not sure if it was the shrimp but everyone always thinks it's the shrimp.

T'was like this.
I was watching Top Gear and, how do I put this nicely, felt a fart coming on. I let loose one and a little bit of something warm came out.
Now that I think about it, it wasn't a fart, I practically did the number two right then and there.

That was incident one.
Incident two happened just a while ago. I awoke from my sleep thinking my period had finally came but nope, all I did was crap my pants again, just a little bit.

Thank goodness I was expecting my monthly visit so I was protected. But can you imagine how disgusting it would be if I had diarrhoea AND my period together?! Can I get a collective "EWW" and some vomit from the girls?

I feel kind of empty and hungry now. I've been on and off the throne about 5 times.
The experience was fresh at first (I do love my ironies). I kept farting and the funny noises made me laugh. Then it got dreadful by the 3rd visit.
Though, it'd have been much more satisfying if I was defecating solid waste but all that came out was air, liquid and umm, purée.

Before I leave you with pleasant memories of me, some advice for first time diarrhetics: if you feel like farting, don't because all you're going to do is poop your pants again, it's not a world record; rehydrate; and start wondering if it was the shrimp.


taipau said...

vivid-nya deskriptif anda

Cathy C said...

"I kept farting and the funny noises made me laugh"

Damn weird lo you...lol

_VeL_ said...

EWWWW. Seriously? LOL

Raymond said...

lmao. i cant believe i just read that.

sean said...

poor minah.

Shan said...

GROSS larh wei!

Gzhang said...

Oi, heard of TMI or not?

Too Mucho Informacion!

cheahwey said...

HAHAHAHAHA, you all think it's gross but you enjoyed it!!!

lesbo said...

we are disturbed

nicole said...

i pity chea teing. gotta smell ur farts hahahaha

taipau said...

in continuation from ur previous posts "what shit is this"

well~ its ur shit ,hwey~

cheahwey said...

ben foo: oh good one

Patricia said...

maybe I should be the first one admitting to liking this post :p

taipau said...

what comment made u removed it?
what could possibly sound worst den its hwey's shit? lol

on a side note.

taipau loves tis posts.