I think it's one out of a handful of situations where a normal person would have the ability, as well as excuse, to crap their pants. And I mean that quite literally.
I lie in this bed (while Deng stirs and elbows me in my sides), documenting my first diarrhetic experience since yonks (or never). It would seem that I currently hold no regard for my humility or reputation (I know I'll regret this one day). And if a future prospective employer sees this, know that, IT WAS THE SHRIMP!
I kid, I kid. I'm not sure if it was the shrimp but everyone always thinks it's the shrimp.
T'was like this.
I was watching Top Gear and, how do I put this nicely, felt a fart coming on. I let loose one and a little bit of something warm came out.
Now that I think about it, it wasn't a fart, I practically did the number two right then and there.
That was incident one.
Incident two happened just a while ago. I awoke from my sleep thinking my period had finally came but nope, all I did was crap my pants again, just a little bit.
Thank goodness I was expecting my monthly visit so I was protected. But can you imagine how disgusting it would be if I had diarrhoea AND my period together?! Can I get a collective "EWW" and some vomit from the girls?
I feel kind of empty and hungry now. I've been on and off the throne about 5 times.
The experience was fresh at first (I do love my ironies). I kept farting and the funny noises made me laugh. Then it got dreadful by the 3rd visit.
Though, it'd have been much more satisfying if I was defecating solid waste but all that came out was air, liquid and umm, purée.
Before I leave you with pleasant memories of me, some advice for first time diarrhetics: if you feel like farting, don't because all you're going to do is poop your pants again, it's not a world record; rehydrate; and start wondering if it was the shrimp.