Sep 18, 2007

Aiyo. Kena robbed.

*Excuse the Fucks and whatnot because I have this pent up energy and I really wanna strangle that fucked up scum.

Because of some sorta fucked up coincidence, Deng got robbed at 4pm this afternoon.

And to think, just today, there was a cop in campus for the Self Defence campaign. And to think, Bern's house got robbed a few weeks back. And to think, just the day before yesterday, the KDU guard on a motorbike walked us back to our car to make sure nothing happened. And to think, Deng got robbed right in front of my uncle's house (but that's where we parked our car lah). And to think, Deng was thinking of buying a new bag; this morning, she even asked me if she should get the knitted bag or the 'Beach Nazi' bag.

The only important thing in that stupid bag of hers is her wallet.

The important things IN her wallet included her IC, driving license, $150 (Damn so-high. We just got allowance today), house keys (bought new locks for the house but I think it ain't gonna stop nobody from coming in la. That fucking gate so easy to climb over) and student card (which costs between $20-40 to make a new one).

I shall leave whatever's not written here to Deng because we agreed that she'd get the scoop.

Sorry la, our journalistic instinct very active wan.

Ever since that happened, I've been thinking of a lot of what if's.

What if we actually got to him, what will we do?
Option one and only: Kick his motherfucking ass back to where he came from after smashing his brains on the sidewalk.

What if we did this and that and whatever...

It's so not worth it. Just cause he robbed someone today, he got $150.

It may be a small amount la, but it's hard earned cash ma. And he hurt someone to get it wor!

I hope that Sohai gets run over by an 18-wheeler and because cars behind didn't know, 20 more cars run over that scum bag's body.

And for some shit ass reason, that Sohai is still alive but in so much pain. He is attacked by pigeons and crows, pecking at his exposed innards.

Then, one little ratatouille scurries out of the drain and takes a nip at one of Sohai's arteries down there in his leg. And whaddaya know, *SPLASH* *SPRINKLE* *FLOOD*, he bleeds to death in the most excruciating pain known to man and alien. And then a sparrow pops his eyeballs out and a car rolls over them. But not before billions of ants crawl onto his pee-pee and detached it from his body.

I feel much more better.

I'm actually quite surprised after all that, we still had a sense of humour. But that's after the shock subsided.

We drove by KDU to get to the police station and we saw the guard that walked us back the other day and I said to Deng, "Ey, wanna go tell the guy, "Uncle, hari tu you bawa kami tak apa wor. Hari ni you tak datang kena ragut beg la..." and we laughed.

You have been served!


sleepycarrot said...

Eh? 4pm. That's around the time I kena ragutted too last time...

Hwey said...

Yeah, that time of day is when NOTHING happens.

Except girls getting robbed.